This is exactly where I like to be now......

هرگز حسد نبردم، بر منصبي و مالي
الا بـــر آنــكه دارد، با دلبـــري وصـــالي
ســـال وصـال با او، يك روز بود گويــي
واكنون در انتظارش، روزي به قدر سالي
صوفي نظـر نبازد، جز با چنين حريفي
سعدي غزل نگويد، جز بر چنين غـزالي

"Are you on a diet !?"
This is the frequent question these days,especially in lab...
They don't know the story of me and black coffee and pain ... !!!!!!!!!!!

My guide asked me this morning while tea time that : why you look so sad!!!!?????????????
and I just looked him back....no reply....!!!!

I caught a cat the other night with the help of Neusha!!!!!!!!!!!! which ended to some minor injuries and TT injection and of course mission was accomplished!!!
and dont ask me why as the story is very very funny and stupid as well....

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I uploaded my paper finally...for me it was a great achievement after a huge gap ,when i started to think of leaving everything and run away!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyway,
now I am trying to focus on the next problem and wish to solve it away soon...there is no further goal to catch...just finishing this shit,just finishing it....

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I feel lost among all the definitions of life and love and god and ...
I feel lost among all the concepts of faith and destiny and the end of days ...
No way to get any closer to the answer,I am sure I wont be able to find the correct way,as many couldn't also....
So I must accept to live in the same dark,like yours maybe!

kasi royaahaaye maraa doost nadarad,
royaahaaye man baa hameye bachegi o shiriniyeshaan be mazaghe hich kas khosh nemiyayand!
hamishe kasi hast ke royaye mara bedozdad......
va man nemidaanam cheraaaaa.....!!!!
va in kheyli dard darad...
kheyli....

I watched "21gm" last night.
The title comes from the idea that the body loses 21 gm of its weight after death!!!!!!!!! which can be the weight of the soul!!!
so you can imagine what kind of a movie it is. I loved the editing which makes it going very smoothly with many flash backs and forwards that make you crazy.
Watch it you haven't!
good for health... ;)

You sometimes suffer in a way that you feel your skin has been changed to a leather cover and nothing can touch your senses anymore....

your heart is changed to a piece of steel or stone and your legs are like marble pillars not just carrying you but showing off your hardness....
your eyes as sharp as a kite but as cold as a piece of ice....
and then,
everything is fine!
Nothing else matters....
Nothing can bother you anymore...
and finally from inside, you start degradation till you collapse and then a full stop!
wow!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday we finally decided to start playing basketball again, and we did it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
can't tell you how much I liked it,and how much it works to make you feel better....
there were only two major problems! the first and the most was ash's absence which was very annoying and we were remembering him after each shot.....
The second and the most dangerous was Shahrokh who I guess wont stop playing so harsh and I prefer to wear my helmet afterwards,if I am supposed to play with him !!!!! and well, Neusha knows what I mean....as she experienced it three times !!!!!!!!!!!!
but yesterday nothing serious happened.
anyway, I wish my back allows me to keep playing...
One more thing to say, I met a Mexican lady the other day,a friend of a friend and I may start learning Spanish.at least at "hello,how r u" scale ;)
interesting, no?!

It is Friday noon,I sent my revised manuscript to both my guide and co-guides to be checked for the last time and will shoot it very soon.
I have also started working on another problem which hopefully will be wrapped up very soon as I have thought about it enough. Then I should seriously think of what to do next! It will be my final problem maybe,before I start writing my thesis.
I am thinking of shifting to some other fields and try to be more chemical...although Chako believes it is a scientific suicide!!!!! but I prefer to risk anyway....
I feel that life is gonna be back to its old track...I don't know why,but I feel more released now....
and the reason is maybe I could sit and think and be frank with myself,what many people don't.
Now I know what I have and what I am.
I'll try to be better but not to get more!
To me,now is the payback time. I must prove what I have earned so far is precious enough to spend a life time with.
I am free like a sparrow,alone,strong and happy.
I am me now!

hey,

man injam!!!!!!!!
va oonghadr inja mimoonam ta zire paham alaf sabz beshe!!!!!!!!!!!!
mibini,
man divoonammmmmmmm.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dishab raftam oon khoonaro tamiz kardam o baghimoondeye vasaayelam ro ham rikhtam door!
Alan az oon hame zendegi faghat ye chamedoon vasam moonde o ye mosht ketab....
vali door rikhtan hameye oon chizayee ke az gozashte vasam moonde bood kheyli hal dad....
hala be ghole dj dige vaghean ehsas mikonam ye kooleposhtiye sangino gozashtam zamin!!!!!
hala mamanam ham dar jaryane o vaghean nesfe bishtare negaraniye man bar taraf shode.....
hala vaghean life is gonna start to look beautiful!

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I watched "body of lies" last night. I liked it....
Golshifte is OK and the chemistry is harsh but lovely...
I wish her best of luck.
In one word I didn't feel wasting my time!