Play it loud....play it fucking loud...screw your fucking ears and let the anger goes away with the rhyme....its not just the anger...it can be residues of your recent unpleasant feelings...it can be anything....it can be anyone....
Just play it fucking loud...
shut up just shut up shut up...shut it up just shut up....
and the divine moment is when its over and your head spins and your brain is screwed and your ass is pleased....
And this means I AM FUCKING COOL...!!!!!!!!

Coming to work early, unlike any other days, wonderful drizzle...so peaceful and so nice...and a bitter mug of black coffee in hand, practicing my new life which is full of unexpected moments these days...
I am working and I can see that slowly I am losing my patience with this guy and this work and I have to force myself to stay...and I know myself...and I have to wrap it up before its getting really late...

Darling,
you made my day...
you, having a baby..is just all my dreams coming true...
and I couldn't be any happier...

I should start searching for names... :))

وقتي تو نيستي نه هستهاي ما چونانكه بايدند نه بايدها
مثل هميشه حرف آخرم و آخر حرفم را با بغض مي خورم

عمريست خنده هاي لاغر خود را در دل ذخيره مي كنم
باشد براي روز مبادا

اما در صفحه هاي تقويم روزي به نام روز مبادا نيست
آن روز هر چه باشد روزي شبيه ديروز ،روزي شبيه فردا ،
روزي درست مثل همين روزهاي ماست

اما كسي چه مي داند شايد امروز نيز همان روز مبادا باشد.

وقتي تو نيستي نه هستهاي ما چونانكه بايدند نه بايدها

هر روز بي تو روز مباداست

--Most of the times, I ridiculously find the used adjectives not proper!! and the most happen when you are in my arms, where everything looks perfect.. and I am trying to find something to say, and I find none...

--It is unreal to me..being stressful and anxious are not familiar senses for me... when the heart beat reaches high in sky .... and I cant see things clear and....I remember long back which I had the same feelings and I was worried of ending into depression, and nothing saved me but a cool friend who simply told me one day that smart people never get trapped in depression and always find a way out!...and I have always found a way out...but who knows when and how the story ends??

Boss is gonna be back tomorrow...a lot to do...
Second black coffee of the day flushes the blood into my veins, I kinda hear it...and I am working and I am cool!!

داستان پیچیده‌ای نیست این زندگی‌ لاکردار، پیچیده ش می‌کنیم شاید، با این همه گیر و بست و حرف و حدیث...آخر کار، همان دلم خوش میماند و همان آغوش گرم مطمئن. پایه که باشی‌، آسمان آبی تر میشود و زمین سبزتر. پایه که باشی‌، طعم همان بوسه‌‌های گرم سیرت می‌کند، پایه که باشی‌ دیگر ترس ماندن و رفتن روزگارت را سیاه نمیکند، پایه که باشی‌ کوزهٔ لرزان دقایق سر ریز میشود از لحظه‌های ناب...و مشکل همیشه همین بوده همین باقی‌ خواهد ماند...که پایه باشی‌ و پای بما نی‌

می‌گویند داشتن تو خوب است... می‌گویند داشتن تو خوب است... می‌گویند داشتن تو خوب است... سزاوار بودنت خواهم بود...خواهم بود؟

Ask me to get you out of the misery,
ask me to show you love,
ask me to make you laugh,
ask me to please your heart,
ask me to cry in my arms,
ask me to flame your passion,
ask me to make love to you,
ask me to kiss you,
ask me anything....and I promise, I have all the answers....
But please, please open my heart first, get me out of dark and take me back to life....

yaa, fever, silence, sore throat, work, cold, body pain, sexy voice...and still feeling good....
and you go fuck yourself!!!!

Has been raining all night and day, VPN is down...I realized later that its certificate has been expired...I feel cold and cant leave the bed, but have to go to lab and finish some work, also should gets Nil's admission....
I go back home...I guess I 've caught cold! decide to make soup for myself, gas ran out, the cylinder was not fitting in Dio, the other scooter was out of petrol and the third one was trapped in the parking due to two other assholes parking behind!! and I am weak and cold and cant move the fucking bikes...at the end, i manage to take the other one out, take the refill and come back...and life is again easy and soup is ready and i have body-ache and i feel dizzy...and now it's raining again...I am drinking hot tea with Snickers!!!...and listening to my song..and I feel dizzy and....

I’m gonna Marry the Night
I won’t give up on my life
I’m a warrior queen
Live passionately
Tonight.

I'm gonna Marry the Dark
Gonna make love to the stars.
I'm a soldier to my own emptiness.
I'm a winner.....

fucking raining last couple of days...have not talked even a word whole day...no complain though, this is what I want maybe! or the sense of interaction has died, or the reality has become damn sharp!!

Today is strange, as yesterday was, and tomorrow will be, perhaps....I have started seeing a different possible future, quite away from my expectations and understanding...with totally different elements and variables...and I, may stand somewhere closer to the core of the existence...
Possible hai kiya??

I need to run....run towards somewhere unknown...somewhere very very far...and I want to be alone there..just me and me and only me...
I am tireeddddddd!!!!

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

چه سعادتی است نبودنت...من روزهای بی‌ رنگ زیادی را شمردم تا به بی‌ تویی رسیدم و بعد این همه مردن خاموش چه سعادتی است نبودنت.من همهٔ این روزها را پیر شدم ، با تک تک سیگارها، و نمی‌دانستم که عمق منطق من اینقدر زیاد است. و تو در آغوش خیس دخترک می‌آمدی و منطق را میستودی که چه آسان میشد رفت و گفت سختیش با تو. و من حیران بودم که کاسه لب پر اطمینان‌ها کی‌ شکست که من نشنیدم. باور کن، خودت هم نمی‌دانی که چه سعادتی است نبودنت

It ain't always easy to plan,
to see things go through,
to find happiness in every corner,
to stare in someone's eyes,
to touch the glory,
to get rid of confusions and think straight,
to find a place to stay,
to deal with misjudgements,
to share the silence,
to discover the path,

and it will never be!

I am very high these days...totally high in energy...I can hardly keep my ass on the chair and work...I sleep late , till late ... smoke a lot and just try to inhale everything, no matter what...
It feels like broadening the horizon...its like losing all the attachments...its like flying...kinda flying that you know you cant go much further and you'll fall...and you'll break all your fucking bones...
hah, perhaps that's why I never wanted to be a fucking bird!....

دلم میخواست
دستت
همین الان
همین جا
موهایم را پریشان میکرد
و تنم
تنت را به جنگ میکشید

From : expired county

Who knows how to stop the time?

I know you suffered
But I don't want you to hide
It's cold and loveless
I won't let you be denied

Soothing
I'll make you feel pure
Trust me
You can be sure

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

You trick your lovers that you're wicked and divine
You may be a sinner
But your innocence is mine

Please me
Show me how it's done
Tease me
You are the one

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

Please me
Show me how it's done
Trust me
You are the one

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

The viva is done and was good as expected.....

and i am still breathing...
and i am still breathing...
and i am still breathing...

Back to work after 4 days...an evaluation review tomorrow...and a lot to recap!
so much to know...
so much to learn...
....

I had a strange experience last night, awakening me, shouting right into my face...saying that : YOU CANT!